Wine & Whine

Back in the days before Asa was born my girlfriends and I would get together most Sunday evenings and a have weekend wrap-up event we called "Wine & Whine". It was a fantastic idea born from the trials and tribulations of being single ladies in a town over-run with a glut of other single ladies and serious lack of suitable male counterparts.

Bottles of wine would be opened, snacks would be eaten and we would laugh, bitch, cry and console each other as only true girlfriends can. Someone had the genius idea of introducing a gigantic pad of paper and markers into the mix so we could "whiteboard' our problems out and save the notes to review at future Wine & Whines.

These Sunday's were truly some of the best in my life. Then I got pregnant and couldn't keep my eyes open past 7:30 ... Jen moved to Germany. Riara had a baby ... We all found ourselves wrapped up in new lives that kept us from coming together every Sunday like we had for those couple of years.

It's been near 3 years since our last Wine & Whine. Being a mom still sucks away so much of the time I used to spend on myself (oh, the glory days). But I've realized that wine is not just for the single ladies. It is also extremely well-suited to the mommy crowd.  Many is the night I've drank my wine on the couch watching Cougar Town and missing my girlfriends. But no longer, it's time to get organized moms. It's time to get serious. It's time to plan some Wine & Whine events again. This time the babies will do the whining while we do the wine-ing. I think it's fantastic and I'll host. The first event is March 2nd. Anyone is welcome, kids, moms, ladies without kids. Men are welcome too but they are in charge of the kids.

Let's raise a glass together ladies!

help a mommy out

Two nights ago I came home with Asa after a day at work to a house with two dogs begging to go for a walk. I'd been in the car for over an hour and half by the time I got home. I really wanted a potty break but the dogs seemed like they wanted it more. And the guilt of leaving two poor dogs home all day took over. I leashed them up, set Asa in the stroller and did some Kegels to keep my bladder in check.

Against everything I thought I stood for, I plunked my iPhone down in Asa's lap with Dinosaur Train playing on repeat so that I could make it through the walk without any tantrums or demands from him that he get out and "walk" (which really means he stands stationary in various places for minutes on end before heading in the opposite direction that I want us to go). As we walked my neighbor drove by and saw me struggling with the stroller and the two dogs and the steamy heat of a muggy afternoon. He looked concerned, as if he thought maybe he should stop and offer to help me. But then I think he was afraid it might be an insult to my mothering abilities. Or maybe he was just wise and decided to keep his distance from my toddler/dog/full bladder situation.

At any rate, we made it through the walk but I could never have done without my iPhone and PBS Kids. So thank you to them and apologies to any parent I ever unintentionally offended by claiming that I wouldn't use technology to entertain my child. Clearly, I had never raised a toddler before. And also, if any one ever sees a mom appear to be struggling I beg you, stop and offer to help her.  Odds are she'd let you off the hook while simultaneously really appreciating the concern.

traveling solo with a toddler

Asa and I took our first solo flight this week. We connected thru Atlanta headed towards Memphis. I was nervous but well prepared for the journey, having packed all of Asa's favorite snacks, books, toys, as well as two changes of clothes for him, diapers, wipes and my laptop loaded up with his favorite movie, Finding Nemo.

We arrived at the airport an hour and 15 minutes early and decided at the last minute to use our brand-new umbrella stroller. The stroller was a good call as Asa sat strapped in the thing for about 45 minutes while we wound our way through the security line. As we approached the conveyor I took him out, unloaded the laptop, his food and drink and sadly, his bunny (toy, not live) and put them on the belt. Asa started freaking out that bunny was gone and I started panicking as I struggled to collapse our stroller. The damn thing was stuck. Seconds turned to minutes. Asa went from mild alarm to out-right anger and fear at the lack of bunny. The guards couldn't get the stroller folded. I couldn't get the stroller folded. Finally the man behind me was able to figure it out. Four minutes later.

Four minutes doesn't sound very long, does it? But think, you reheat your coffee for 1 minute, and that feels like forever. You sit at a long traffic light for 3 minutes and that feels like forever. Imagine you are barefoot in an airport with a screaming toddler clasped in one hand and a line of fellow travelers so long that you cannot see the end of it. And it takes you FOUR minutes to collapse the freakin' stroller that was supposed to make your life so much easier .... Not a good feeling. I actually turned and apologized to the group at large before I scooped Asa up (both of us red-faced but for different reasons - humiliation is the worst) and went through the machine.

On the other side of the screening machine I found our bag being totally unpacked down to the last book. They had to check everything in the bag because I had inadvertently left a bottle of children's allergy medicine in the backpack during the whole umbrella stroller fiasco. So, I am now standing barefoot while they test his milk to be sure it really is milk and his juice to be sure it really is juice and his medicine to be sure it really is medicine.

*may I just say here, what a sad state the world has come to when the milk a mother packs for her baby is deemed suspicious.

The guard offered to help me "pack" it all back in the bag which really amounted to him cramming things in whichever way he could and left me with a totally disorganized bag. This wouldn't be such a big deal to me if it were just me flying on my own. But as a mother I depend on organization to help make life run smoothly. Traveling alone with a toddler with a bag where I could reach into each pocket and know exactly where the item I was searching for was located was the crux of my plan. What I was left with after security was a bag of random crap.

And so, we eventually found ourselves on the airplane, crammed into one seat together because kids under 2 fly free in your lap and the last time we did this Asa was a lot smaller and fit on my lap much easier.

What I hadn't planned on was that once we were seated I wouldn't be able to actually reach down and access the bag or anything in it. With Asa on my lap and passengers on either side of us I couldn't even lean forward to reach the tray-table without squishing him. Forget reaching down under the seat in front of me to rifle through a backpack that was filled with all Asa's favorite stuff in now totally random locations. Nightmare.

Asa did great on both flights, sleeping through the first and looking out the window and watching Nemo for the next. But overall I was hot and sweaty from having him on my lap for three hours and running from one plane to the next. I was hungry because I couldn't access the food. I had to pee because you can't take a toddler with you to those tiny little airplane bathrooms and we had no time between flights. And even though people were complimenting me on how well behaved Asa was, the overall stress of flying alone with a toddler taught me that it's something I really don't want to do again.

I know I am (allegedly) prone to being easily stressed out but I have to think this feeling of exhaustion is universal among parents who have dared to take their toddler on a plane by themselves and I applaud anyone who dares to do this more than once. In the end it was of course worth it, we've tuckered him out with fun every day we've been here as evidenced by the below Huck Finn-esque photo.

Burwaggie

Burwaggie was one of Asa's first words according to my mom and stepdad, Frank. Burwaggie was Asa's word for coffee when he was about 5 months old. I was there and I do remember him looking up at Frank sipping coffee and saying "burwaggie". I didn't expect that it would become a legitimate word in our family vocabulary but somehow, it has. It's not as if we walk around offering guests a hot cup of fresh brewed burwaggie, in fact we don't even have burwaggie everyday ourselves.  But if I were to ask Jeff if there was any burwaggie left, he'd certainly know what I was looking for.

Asa has since developed a new word for coffee: it's 'coffee'. It sounds exactly like our word for coffee and he uses it just as appropriately as he did 'burwaggie'. It's cute to see a toddler talk about coffee. It's a little freaky to see him point to a beer bottle and say 'beer' (we really aren't big drinkers, the kid just remembers everything you tell him I swear). He's usually asleep by the time we break out the vodka for bloody mary's so he hasn't learned any hard alcohols yet, nor does he seem to recognize a wine bottle for what it is. This may be because he often hears me tell him "Don't whine" so maybe he thinks they are the same word and something he should just avoid all together.

I really don't know how his mind works but listening to him talk himself to sleep at bedtime is really a cute way to pass the time. He seems to replay the latest events of his life, talking to his Bunny about lunch (pickle, burger, broccoli) or playtime (color, drawing, truck, police car, race car, digger) or even just who he hung out with or would like to see again soon (daddy, g'ma, pops, midnight). His nightly chat with Bunny & Bear is an interesting window into his mind. Last night I listened to him on the monitor as he said (amongst several other things), I love mommy. I love daddy. His last words before falling asleep were "Dokie-dokie" (this is his version of okie-dokie).

Having a 19 month old is fun, challenging and less exhausting then having a newborn, but I'll tell you what, a well-timed cup of burwaggie never goes amiss in our lives.

so cute

Asa is about the sweetest, cutest thing I could ever have imagined. The only thing that might be cuter than Asa would be other cute things with Asa. For example, Asa rolling around with a puppy might be even cuter than Asa rolling around on his own. Asa in a pile of leaves would probably up the cuteness level compared to say Asa in a pile of laundry, although that would be cute too ...

In fact its hard to imagine a scenario that involves Asa that wouldn't be cute even if it were otherwise sad or icky. For example, we had to take Asa to the ER for a chest xray, it was late, he was sick and tired and yet he was incredibly cute. Another example from a week or so ago, Asa was in the bath having a great time and then (as if he were reading my mind because I was just thinking how great it is that this had never happened) he pooped in the tub. It was hilarious, disgusting and yes, cute. I mean, you know you are in love with your baby when you think the fact that he has pooped the bath is cute and funny not vomitous and repulsive.

For any readers who don't have kids and think that I am insane for thinking this stuff is cute, all I can say is, two years ago I would have adamantly agreed with you and now, well now Asa owns me and all I can say is, if you have kids than you will see just what I'm saying first hand.

Medical Info Women Should Know

Okay, maybe I'm bored but I actually found this mildly amusing so I'm going way out of bounds and just copy/pasting my blog post today.

Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women

PREGNANCY Q & A & more

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?

A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A: So what's your question?

Q?: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor,

but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.?

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q?: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?

A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You 're using your cell phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving".

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."

9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.

7. Fat clothes.

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.

5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.

4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.

3. Eyelash curlers.

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

head over heels

Asa finally took his first big spill off the couch today. I say "finally" because its a moment I've seen coming for months and have been obviously concerned about. As it turns out, it was hilarious! Well, hilarious to me, more sort of frightening to Asa I would guess.

Here is how events transpired: Asa is running around on the couch (yes, I know this is bad manners and not safe) while I stand nearby and tell him to "sit down please", which he does. After a few moments he is back up and I tell him to be careful and he makes a move to sit down only he's too close to the edge so he starts to fall over. Somehow it happens incredibly slowly. One hand, two hands firmly on the ground, top of his head planted between his hands, momentary head stand before the feet and legs come flipping over his head and BAM! Asa completes his first somersault and couch fall in one amazing move.

He sat up looking bewildered and I smile at him realizing he's not hurt in the least, and start laughing. He looks a little unsure, then a little proud of himself, then he's back to looking a little unsure. I squat down and he comes running over for a reassuring hug. It was very sweet, very funny, and luckily no one was harmed in the making of this memorable moment. And perhaps little man will think twice before he goes running around on the sofa again.

pigout

Asa is known for a lot of things but being a huge eater has never been one of them. That baby had no interest in eating when he was first born and in fact we had to "finger feed" him for at least the first two weeks, and definitely for a bit beyond that. It involved a small syringe, a very thin tube and usually Jeff's index finger in Asa's mouth trying to encourage him to suck it down. That was followed by weeks of special apparatus to get him to breastfeed.

Eventually we got the hang of it and things were going fine until he was around 7 months old at which point he spontaneously decided he was through with bottles. So we switched him to sippy cups which he used for about 36 hours. On to straws, which thankfully he took to. And then about a week later he gave up breast milk unless he was nursing. So we gave him some formula, which he drank for a week or two and then gave that up. Luckily we'd received a free sample of a different formula in the mail and he loved that one. And for two months, he was alright.

Then we gave up formula and breastmilk completely and switched to whole milk, which he loved and still does. So milk has been a challenge at times but on the whole, we know we can always get him to drink something. Eating solid food though, not so much. Some days he just isn't that into it. But it's fine. He's healthy, strong, growing tall and has a nice round belly. And you can always get him to eat a banana or some cheese

Lately, the kid has become an eating machine. An unstoppable eating machine. For dinner the last two nights in a row he has eaten an entire sweet potato, half a chicken breast and about a half a cup of peas. That's each night, not total. He is literally eating my dinner off my plate. Breakfast is the same deal. After devouring a full bowl of cottage cheese and apple sauce, he insists on more cottage cheese, half a pear and a half a banana. At lunch, his daycare ladies tell me the same story. He hears "time to clean up before lunch" and in a flash he's putting toys away left and right and rushing over to his highchair! I mean, he's a machine! I don't know what's going on, growth spurt, tape worm, who knows ... but it's pretty awesome to watch him do this.

Oh and to make it even more remarkable, he's using his spoon and spork to feed himself all this food and in the last two weeks the amount ending up in his lap has diminished to maybe a total of a bite or two. It's incredible. But we may need a Costco membership if this keeps up!

over-heard this moring

Jeff: Asa, are you hungry?

Asa: What?

Jeff: Are you hungry?

Asa: Yes.

Jeff: Do you want some peaches? (silence) ... Do you want some banana?

Asa: Yes.

Jeff: Okay, let's get some banana!

Seriously? When did my baby get old enough for a full blown conversation? Oh and PS- little man used the potty for the first time last night! He walked himself over, sat down and peed in the potty. Then he got up, did a victory lap and gave out several high fives to two very enthusiastic parents.

mom smarts

these are some things i've picked up over the last several months.

1. diapers.com is awesome
2. amazon.com/mom is pretty awesome too (think about their subscribe & save option)
3. a lingerie bag is the best way to not lose baby socks/mittens in the laundry
4. sleep sheep, snuggle nest, and a white noise machine are invaluable tools for getting a baby to sleep
5. stuffed animals should go through the wash tied up in a pillowcase to protect them
6. a cheap plastic shower curtain does a good job of containing the mess when a baby starts feeding himself with a spoon
7. a dog does a great job of cleaning up messes that cheap shower curtains on the floor miss
8. even if it's hot, a toddler should wear pants on a walk so they don't scrape their legs up climbing stairs and falling down on pavement
9. the older the baby gets the more into snuggling they seem to be
10. going to the playground before work/daycare is totally awesome
11. a hair brush or a toothbrush can be a great toy, as can a dixie cup, car key, remote control, shoe, cardboard box, unopened pregnancy test, spoon, etc ... pretty much anything other than medication or sharp objects really
12. they are smarter than you give them credit for and are always listening so watch what you say
13. once they start walking, they are often running the opposite direction you'd like
14. gripe water is your friend
15. cloth diapers weren't the terrible burden everyone seemed to think they'd be
16. infancy wasn't as hard as i though it would be but parenting overall is more exhausting than i imagined
17. that cliche about "it was all worth it" is totally true. nothing is better than being a mom.

east africa

I go through cycles of avidly following as much news as possible and becoming weary and worn down by all the violence and sadness in the world. I often feel disgusted at how short an attention span the collective "we" seem to have and how the media exploits our basest instincts to their advantage.

Casey Anthony. Lady Gaga. The Dougherty Gang. Amin Hassan.

Wait, who is Amin Hassan? Amin Hassan is a Somali mother living in the Dadaab Refugee Camp and she recently buried her 1 month old daughter, Addison, in a grave she dug herself. She is one 30,000 Somali parents who have buried one or more of their children this summer alone. And potentially 600,000 more children in East Africa may die before the year is out.

Let's stop for a moment and think about those numbers. 600,000 children dying in the next three months. We all live in different places but if you picture the 600,000 people living closest to your home all disappearing in three months, I'd say we'd all have a very desolate few miles around us. Or imagine that only the 600,000 children closest to your home are gone. No kids on playgrounds, at the pools, riding bikes, enjoying playdates, going to school. Just silence and cold emptiness left behind for their families to live with.

It absolutely tears me in two to read the stories coming out of camps there. Of children dying long, slow, extremely painful deaths from starvation. Parents having to watch them slowly wither away until they are listless, barely alive ... little more than breathing skeletons.

At 12 months old Asa is around 22 pounds and is rather slender for his age. There are 4 and 5 year olds in the refugee camps who weigh just 15 pounds. Think about that. Imagine if it were your baby and there was nothing you could to help him. You'd already walked a 100 miles in terrific heat, been robbed by bandits of any possessions you had, and arrived at the one place you knew could help only to find they are stretched way beyond their limit and reinforcements aren't going to arrive quickly enough to save your children. It's terrifying, isn't it ...

I don't mean for this to be a lecture. It's more of a reminder about why it is so important that we do not allow ourselves to avert our eyes from these headlines, and that we make sure the media doesn't cave in to the next Casey Anthony drama and dictate to us when the story is over. The story of famine in Africa is over when children are no longer starving to death, when their parents and siblings are well nourished, vaccinated, and able to return home to rebuild their lives in a safe and secure setting. We cannot allow latitude and longitude to dictate our compassion or empathy.

from Asa

dear momma,

please don't feel hurt by the fact that i currently seem to love trucks more than i love you, it's probably just a passing phase and you'll be my favorite again soon.  i know that trucks don't feed me, cuddle me, read me stories, wipe my bootie or sing me songs like you do. but did you know that trucks can roll?? and they go vroom-vroom, beep-beep, and wee-ohh wee-ohh!  also, sometimes trucks drive up my leg and over my belly when you are around, and other times they line up together from biggest to smallest ... it's really neat! i mean, there are just so many dimensions to a truck's personality, i never know what to expect other than to be amazed and excited.

so again, don't be sad, i still love you it's just that trucks can give me so much more than you can right now. but please when we get home will you sit and watch me play trucks because it's definitely not as fun to play without an audience and let's face it, you are the best audience i could ask for.

love,
 asa

ps - i also like climbing trees with you and bear, let's try that again soon.

that b*tch gave my kid a bloody nose

I've been dreading Asa's first bloody injury since I saw my neighbors son after he split his lip in the tub. I mean, he didn't look terrible or even bothered but you know, the idea of seeing my baby bleed unnerved me. And then I worried, what if it's something really serious, what if he falls down the cement stairs out front or something really awful ... I mean, the worry didn't keep me up nights but you know, I fretted a bit.

And then the day came about a week and a half ago while we were out in the big backyard in our neighborhood. Asa was there in the field with a few dogs running around, all dogs he knew and had played with before. All kind, sweet dogs. All different sized dogs. There was Midnight of course, and a dog named Bear, fairly sturdy but certainly a small-medium not really bear-sized ... There was little Petey one of those sweet little Ewok looking softies who Asa loves the most, and there was Penny (don't let the name fool you, there is nothing small about her) the Irish Wolfhound, a three-legged, prosthetic leg wearing pony-sized sweetheart. Here are photos of dogs like Petey and Penny, the one with Penny has a human in it to give you an idea of the size of this dog.

We'd been there for a while and everyone was fairly mellow, Jeff was standing so close to Asa they were touching and I was about 10 feet away. And then I saw it start to happen, Penny was getting wound up, going from a slow, lumbering three-legged walk, to a clumsy, quick three-legged gallop ... I guess technically she was on four legs as she had her prosthesis on at the time. Anyway, Jeff saw it coming too and actually pulled Asa towards him with one hand as he tried to push Penny's body away from them, but that big girl just doesn't realize how huge she is ... From my angle I saw very clearly her chest rise up and smack Asa in the face as she ran by. She wasn't charging him or anything, he just was in her path and with her new gait (she only recently lost her front limb to cancer and is getting used to the prosthetic) she didn't have as much clearance as she needed.

Needless to say, Asa hit the ground and was quickly scooped up by Jeff and I. The tears were flowing, the screaming was happening and sure enough: blood. All across his cheek in a swoop that went from his nose towards his ear. My first thought was that the leg or her collar must have nicked his cheek but we quickly realized this wasn't the case. With some quickly provided first aid materials from Penny's owner Doug we dabbed at the bloody cheek and realized it was a bloody nose instead. Thank god. No wounds to get infected. No scabs. No scars. A bloody nose is child's play! I can handle a bloody nose.

Well, actually let me clarify, I might not have handled it as well as I did if it hadn't been for Amy, Penny's owner (Doug's wife) who was so remorseful and upset that her dog had hit my baby that she was nearly in tears. Seeing her so upset helped give me the calm, level head I really need to keep when things like this happen to Asa. I mean, he looks to Jeff and I to determine whether something is funny, scary, painful ... Imagine if I had burst into tears like I sort of wanted too. Instead, I smiled, used a soothing voice and dabbed away the blood from his face and Jeff's ruined shirt.

Within about 3 minutes Asa was back in the grass chasing little Petey around, while Penny sat calmly leashed and under her owner's control. So the bottom line is, it was an accident, these things happen, no harm no foul and we've successfully navigated Asa's first injury.

that new baby smell

Asa just turned a year over the weekend and I can hardly believe it! Time behaves differently when measured by the yardstick of a baby's life. The first few days and weeks are blurred into one fantastically long day full of excitement, euphoria and adrenaline.  Then, at least for me, the next few months are a second long day of exhaustion, excitement and adjustment. Then around the three month mark things settle down and become a third, extremely long but happy day. So basically, Asa is three days old to me at this point.

Last night we were feeding him dinner when he grabbed for his spoon and Jeff obligingly handed it over to him for the first time ever. So there we were, at the dinner table with Asa in his high chair, apricots on the tray and a bowl of greek yogurt and a spoon in his possession. It was adorable, hilarious and very messy as the photos will prove when I upload them.  He was such a mess afterward that it was a 'straight to the tub' night.

We made it a bubble bath with Johnson & Johnson's bedtime blend that has all those relaxing scents to "ensure a good nights sleep". Whatever, it was a baby shower gift and if it eases him into bedtime with its lavender and ylang ylang than that's fantastic. After a very thorough scrubbing we dried him off and I lotioned him up with the J&J bedtime lotion (also a gift, thank you baby shower guest). He sat on my lap with his little naked tush on my legs while I rubbed the lotion into his back and shoulders giving him a little baby massage and I inhaled the smell of my clean baby's head and felt a surge of affection and attachment that reminded me of the hours after he was born.

There really is nothing like a new baby smell. In a word it is intoxicating. We didn't bathe Asa for days after he was born, we just let him be and enjoyed the scent of new baby, inhaling like it was a drug. I suppose it must be a type of drug, some hormonal thing that Mother Nature brewed up to ensure we cherish these little beings that otherwise would drive us crazy. Well, Johnson & Johnson aren't as good as Mother Nature but let me tell you, in the decades they've been around they've achieved something special. I suppose it must be the collected culturally learned norm for me to think a baby who smells like Johnson & Johnson smells "like a baby".  They may not feel the same way about the scent in say Uruguay or Nepal, who knows. But I can say, last night when I smelled Asa I had flashbacks to his first days and hours and then further back to when my sister was a newborn and then I started thinking I probably smelled like that to my mom 32 years ago and who knows, maybe she smelled like that to her mom too.

There's something magical about scents. They can transport us, relax us, excite us ... and last night J&J's bedtime blend worked as a time machine for me. It was pretty awesome.

Still snot funny

Sometimes life just isn't funny. Sometimes it tiring or frustrating or sad or just a bit dull. The last few days for us have been a combination of exhausting, frustrating, scary and tedious.

Asa is sick.
Still.
Again.
I don't know anymore.

I know I must have said this before, but there is nothing more pathetic and sympathy-inducing than a baby with a fever. The poor little guy is such a trooper but there's no disguising his misery this week. I do think he is very slowly making a comeback but not at the rate we'd all like, and with his first birthday just two days away, time is running short for him to be healthy enough to really enjoy his party.

We've been to the doctor, the ER, we've had a chest xray, snotted through several shirts and bibs, cuddled bunny, teddy, zebra, monkey, lamby ... And all we know is Asa has a cold. Anyway, here are two photos, one of him in snuggle mode and one with his dad at the ER, you've got to admit even when he's sick he's just precious.

caution- living here will make you pregnant

When Jeff and I moved into our neighborhood we completely fell in love with it. Nice quiet streets with young couples walking their dogs, some with children, some without, and some with bulging pregnant bellies. We thought we'd blend right in with them, what with having a dog of our own.

And within two weeks of moving in, we got pregnant. As my belly grew we started to feel like an even better fit in the neighborhood. The belly opened up a whole new world of friends to make. When you're pregnant other pregnant ladies want to chat and compare notes, and the moms want to relive simpler days, when their babies were safely tucked inside where the worst they could do was (relatively) easier to take than the havoc the babies cause once they're out.

Now, just a handful of days shy of Asa's first birthday, I'm finding that newborns, new moms, and expectant first time moms surround me more than ever before. And I'm loving it! The newborns take me back to the days when we were first meeting Asa in person, sleepless and clueless, we fumbled thru the first few weeks and months in a blissful daze. Talking to the new moms I'm reminded of the horrors of breastfeeding, the pain, the leaks, the pumping, the endless cycle of keeping the baby fed and trying desperately to work a meal of your own into the day but also of the sort of adrenaline-induced euphoria that holding your new baby gives you. And then there's the pregnant moms. The excitement and amazement and totally lovable innocence they still have about the whole thing. Hearing the baby's heartbeat, going for the ultrasound, those days are so far in the past for us now, but the excitement is still fresh in my mind when I take a moment to cast back to 2009 ...

The whole circle of life is really incredible. I used to just think of it from a death/birth perspective; as one life begins, another is ending somewhere. The balance of the universe. But now I see it as being a vastly busier circle, like one of those crazy traffic circles that has lots of roads feeding into it ... New lives are starting all the time, joining the hubbub of life with new parents and veteran parents, children and grandparents all zipping around, enjoying the shared thrill of the ride.

Special congrats to all the newly expectant moms, as you already know, it's a great thrill and it only gets better.

Keeping Up

The headline on Yahoo today has a story about how to spot whether your toddler is gifted or not and provided a list of things to look for to confirm that in fact your little one is better than most. The daily digest I receive from babycenter.com had a mom worried that her 11 month old wasn't "advanced enough" because "all" she can do is clap, wave, say momma and dadda and stand on her own. A few of the moms responded with links to websites where you can rundown a checklist to see how your baby fares compared to others. A few other moms posted comments assuring the mom that their kid was doing the same and not to worry, and a very few moms posted comments that indicated borderline disdain for evening trying to judge a baby like that. 

I have to say, I agree with the moms who were annoyed that anyone is even trying to judge whether their baby is "advanced enough". We aren't talking about a mom with a serious concern, like a one year old who cannot hold their head up or roll over, that would be cause for a visit to the pediatrician. It seems more like we are using our children as a way of keeping up with the Jones' and frankly, I find that really sad.

In these times of financial austerity though, where is a parent to turn when they want to beat their neighbors at a game of one-up-manship? When the credit cards are maxed and and hours at work are cut, the answer to showing off and making other people feel inferior can no longer be found in the brand new Toyota Minivan out front or the fancy swing set out back. With knock-off crocks a dime a dozen, you can hardly turn to fashion to brag either. And as babies are growing up and the diaper bags are becoming less crammed with stuff, the designer diaper bag is being left home more and more frequently. How then do we make other parents feel inferior?

With genius babies of course!! Why didn't I think of that? Well I suppose I must not have been much of genius baby myself, otherwise I'm sure the genius would have carried through to adulthood. I mean, obviously if a baby rolls over three weeks ahead of the average, he'll go on to Harvard Law and the Presidency, right? And if the little guy starts walking at 10 months he'll be lightyears ahead of his classmates at the magnet tech high school waiting for him 15 years down the road, right?

Or is it possible that maybe, just maybe, as long as a baby is developing, it's okay to let them do it at their own pace? Could it be that a baby who doesn't walk until 15 months is just as gifted as one who walked at 10 months? Can it be true that having a vocabulary of 3 words at 12 months doesn't make you any dumber than the baby who could say 7 words?

Life is hard enough folks. We know, we're the adults living everyday out in the world with the baggage we've been collecting all these long years. Let's try our best not to saddle our babies with baggage before they've even started pre-school. They'll roll over when they're ready, clap when they're ready, talk when they're ready, feed themselves when they're ready, and before we're ready we'll find they've grown up and we're longing for the days when they took those tentative first steps and stumbled into our arms with that look of pure joy that they felt mirrored back at them from our eyes.

Be proud, over-worried parents, your baby is "advanced enough". Below is a picture of my "advanced enough" baby kickin' it in his new reading chair.

Uma Thurman, you look just like me

The truth is, Uma Thurman is a solid 3 inches taller than me. She's also 8 years older than me and is light years beyond me in glamour, poise and material wealth. However, despite these undeniable truths, I often hear how much I look like her. In fact, I have actually been mistaken for her several times in my life.  I've had groups of people cheer and chant "Uma" when I walked by, I've been offered preferred tables at busy restaurants, I've had people demand to see my ID to prove I'm not Uma Thurman, I've even had to turn down requests for autographs (sorry Uma, I don't know your policy on signing and I've no clue what your signature looks like, maybe I should google these things ...).

I wonder whether anyone has ever mistakenly called her Anna? Probably not, but who knows, in certain circles my reputation certainly proceeds me ...

At any rate, here are two photos, one of her and one of me, see if you can tell which is which ..

In related news, I'd also like to share this photo which may or may not represent both Uma and myself in a bikini, I don't know yet what the fate of my stomach will be, but once again, I sincerely appreciate that not all celebrities go the tummy-tuck route and still manage to look good in their (somewhat jelly belly) skin ...

jelly rolls

I'd like to offer my sincere thanks to my co-worker Adrienne for sharing this photo with me yesterday, it definitely, definitely made me feel a lot less stressed over my new mom-belly.

I have to say that I've always been hard on myself over my body but it's generally insured that I haven't had any serious weight issues, so I deem that it's a good technique for staying slim. However, it's also bad for morale. So this photo is something I may end up printing out and carrying around in my wallet to sneak peaks at before I dive into a plate of wings or something. I mean, if it's good enough for a Hollywood celebrity, it ought to be good for a no-name like me, right?

In other news, I'm fitting in my jeans again, so a week of full-on mental warfare against chocolate, ice cream, cookies and wine is starting to work. I mean, I've indulged, I'm no masochist. A little fat is good for filling in wrinkles anyway, right? So I guess maybe Moose Tracks Frozen Yogurt is my answer to Botox ... It's cheaper and more delicious without any of that paralyzing venom or whatever the Botox magic is.

In conclusion, thank you to Adrienne, Katie Holmes and Jeff who discovered Moose Tracks Fro-Yo, you all are working wonders on my body image, belly-jelly, and taste buds!

Zzz, sleep walking

Babies make me tired. I mean, I love my baby, he's a cute, sweet, funny, drooling little doll, but he wears me out. The good news is, I think we wear him out too.

Yesterday, for Father's Day, we had a few friends over for a cookout. Thinking that a 4pm start time would mean we'd have a well rested baby just up from his afternoon nap, we told everyone we'd be serving up steak by around 5pm. Of course, any and every time we try to plan something Asa likes to remind us who is really in charge by totally breaking with whatever his usual habits are and throwing us a curve ball. Yesterdays curve ball came when he decided to completely skip having an afternoon nap.

He's never done that before. He's certainly taken an early nap, a late nap, an abbreviated nap, an interrupted nap ... but no nap? No way. Until yesterday. He was a champ though, and wasn't really very fussy or anything, until right around 5pm when we were just about ready to serve up dinner. Jeff took over feeding Asa his dinner while I worked out getting food out to the guests and before I knew it, Asa and Jeff had disappeared upstairs for his bedtime. At 5:30pm.

Asa has never gone to bed at 5:30 before. 6pm yes but 5:30? Yikes. Apparently his head was rolling around while Jeff tried to feed him in his lap, the result of his actually falling asleep mid-bite ... So Jeff called it and put him down. We were a bit nervous we'd have a wide awake and well rested baby in the wee hours of the morning but no! Our little dude slept all the way through until his normal wake up time, and in fact, he was sort of roused awake by us opening his bedroom door and going about the morning routine in the house, so that the background noise eventually woke him at about 6:15. It was pretty great.

We all got a solid nights rest and woke up feeling refreshed. Thank goodness Asa learned the family mantra, 'play hard, sleep hard', at such a young age.

And, as an update, he is now walking up to several feet at a time before either purposefully sitting down or just plain face-planting into a crawl to complete his intended route. It's really cool and he's definitely enjoying his emerging bi-pedial tendencies.