yard sale hag

A couple weekends ago we had a yard sale in our neighborhood. I knew the yard sale crowd was a weird bunch, I knew they were tough and I knew I'd have to be tough to even make a dime. But damn, was I surprised at how rough the old ladies played.

Right around 9am, an hour after the official start of the sale, this old broad comes shuffling up, all smiles and chatty, playing to my good nature. I'd already made plenty of sales and was off to a great start and decided when she asked me how much a silk scarf was going for that I'd do the old "What'll you offer me for it?" schtick.  She waggles her head and says "Oh you shouldn't ask me that!" and I told her as long as she wasn't about to offer me 50 cents we'd be fine. And then to my shock she gets all uppity and is like "I never pay more than 50 cents at a yard sale" and scoofs at me when I say I was looking for $3.  Then that cheap old hag asks me what day the big garbage pick-up is in our neighborhood so she can just come back and take things. I was flabbergasted. That's right, I said flabbergasted! And stupid Anna, so taken aback by her brazen cheapskated rudeness goes right ahead and tells her the big pick-up is on Monday ... What was I thinking??

Well so anyway, the old lady shuffles off, the yard sale goes on, we sell well over half our stuff and make a nice chunk of change. And who do you think I saw wandering our neighborbood Monday morning? That's right, our rude little mean old cheapskate and her cart were out "shopping" and she'd found a weed-whacker, a vaccum and god only knows what else. And she wasn't alone, there was a small army of rummagers in our neighborhood, some in pick-ups with fairly awesome looking finds stacked feet high in the beds.

That scarf by the way, I sold for a dollar, so suck it you cheap yard sale hag!