Wine & Whine

Back in the days before Asa was born my girlfriends and I would get together most Sunday evenings and a have weekend wrap-up event we called "Wine & Whine". It was a fantastic idea born from the trials and tribulations of being single ladies in a town over-run with a glut of other single ladies and serious lack of suitable male counterparts.

Bottles of wine would be opened, snacks would be eaten and we would laugh, bitch, cry and console each other as only true girlfriends can. Someone had the genius idea of introducing a gigantic pad of paper and markers into the mix so we could "whiteboard' our problems out and save the notes to review at future Wine & Whines.

These Sunday's were truly some of the best in my life. Then I got pregnant and couldn't keep my eyes open past 7:30 ... Jen moved to Germany. Riara had a baby ... We all found ourselves wrapped up in new lives that kept us from coming together every Sunday like we had for those couple of years.

It's been near 3 years since our last Wine & Whine. Being a mom still sucks away so much of the time I used to spend on myself (oh, the glory days). But I've realized that wine is not just for the single ladies. It is also extremely well-suited to the mommy crowd.  Many is the night I've drank my wine on the couch watching Cougar Town and missing my girlfriends. But no longer, it's time to get organized moms. It's time to get serious. It's time to plan some Wine & Whine events again. This time the babies will do the whining while we do the wine-ing. I think it's fantastic and I'll host. The first event is March 2nd. Anyone is welcome, kids, moms, ladies without kids. Men are welcome too but they are in charge of the kids.

Let's raise a glass together ladies!

help a mommy out

Two nights ago I came home with Asa after a day at work to a house with two dogs begging to go for a walk. I'd been in the car for over an hour and half by the time I got home. I really wanted a potty break but the dogs seemed like they wanted it more. And the guilt of leaving two poor dogs home all day took over. I leashed them up, set Asa in the stroller and did some Kegels to keep my bladder in check.

Against everything I thought I stood for, I plunked my iPhone down in Asa's lap with Dinosaur Train playing on repeat so that I could make it through the walk without any tantrums or demands from him that he get out and "walk" (which really means he stands stationary in various places for minutes on end before heading in the opposite direction that I want us to go). As we walked my neighbor drove by and saw me struggling with the stroller and the two dogs and the steamy heat of a muggy afternoon. He looked concerned, as if he thought maybe he should stop and offer to help me. But then I think he was afraid it might be an insult to my mothering abilities. Or maybe he was just wise and decided to keep his distance from my toddler/dog/full bladder situation.

At any rate, we made it through the walk but I could never have done without my iPhone and PBS Kids. So thank you to them and apologies to any parent I ever unintentionally offended by claiming that I wouldn't use technology to entertain my child. Clearly, I had never raised a toddler before. And also, if any one ever sees a mom appear to be struggling I beg you, stop and offer to help her.  Odds are she'd let you off the hook while simultaneously really appreciating the concern.

traveling solo with a toddler

Asa and I took our first solo flight this week. We connected thru Atlanta headed towards Memphis. I was nervous but well prepared for the journey, having packed all of Asa's favorite snacks, books, toys, as well as two changes of clothes for him, diapers, wipes and my laptop loaded up with his favorite movie, Finding Nemo.

We arrived at the airport an hour and 15 minutes early and decided at the last minute to use our brand-new umbrella stroller. The stroller was a good call as Asa sat strapped in the thing for about 45 minutes while we wound our way through the security line. As we approached the conveyor I took him out, unloaded the laptop, his food and drink and sadly, his bunny (toy, not live) and put them on the belt. Asa started freaking out that bunny was gone and I started panicking as I struggled to collapse our stroller. The damn thing was stuck. Seconds turned to minutes. Asa went from mild alarm to out-right anger and fear at the lack of bunny. The guards couldn't get the stroller folded. I couldn't get the stroller folded. Finally the man behind me was able to figure it out. Four minutes later.

Four minutes doesn't sound very long, does it? But think, you reheat your coffee for 1 minute, and that feels like forever. You sit at a long traffic light for 3 minutes and that feels like forever. Imagine you are barefoot in an airport with a screaming toddler clasped in one hand and a line of fellow travelers so long that you cannot see the end of it. And it takes you FOUR minutes to collapse the freakin' stroller that was supposed to make your life so much easier .... Not a good feeling. I actually turned and apologized to the group at large before I scooped Asa up (both of us red-faced but for different reasons - humiliation is the worst) and went through the machine.

On the other side of the screening machine I found our bag being totally unpacked down to the last book. They had to check everything in the bag because I had inadvertently left a bottle of children's allergy medicine in the backpack during the whole umbrella stroller fiasco. So, I am now standing barefoot while they test his milk to be sure it really is milk and his juice to be sure it really is juice and his medicine to be sure it really is medicine.

*may I just say here, what a sad state the world has come to when the milk a mother packs for her baby is deemed suspicious.

The guard offered to help me "pack" it all back in the bag which really amounted to him cramming things in whichever way he could and left me with a totally disorganized bag. This wouldn't be such a big deal to me if it were just me flying on my own. But as a mother I depend on organization to help make life run smoothly. Traveling alone with a toddler with a bag where I could reach into each pocket and know exactly where the item I was searching for was located was the crux of my plan. What I was left with after security was a bag of random crap.

And so, we eventually found ourselves on the airplane, crammed into one seat together because kids under 2 fly free in your lap and the last time we did this Asa was a lot smaller and fit on my lap much easier.

What I hadn't planned on was that once we were seated I wouldn't be able to actually reach down and access the bag or anything in it. With Asa on my lap and passengers on either side of us I couldn't even lean forward to reach the tray-table without squishing him. Forget reaching down under the seat in front of me to rifle through a backpack that was filled with all Asa's favorite stuff in now totally random locations. Nightmare.

Asa did great on both flights, sleeping through the first and looking out the window and watching Nemo for the next. But overall I was hot and sweaty from having him on my lap for three hours and running from one plane to the next. I was hungry because I couldn't access the food. I had to pee because you can't take a toddler with you to those tiny little airplane bathrooms and we had no time between flights. And even though people were complimenting me on how well behaved Asa was, the overall stress of flying alone with a toddler taught me that it's something I really don't want to do again.

I know I am (allegedly) prone to being easily stressed out but I have to think this feeling of exhaustion is universal among parents who have dared to take their toddler on a plane by themselves and I applaud anyone who dares to do this more than once. In the end it was of course worth it, we've tuckered him out with fun every day we've been here as evidenced by the below Huck Finn-esque photo.

Burwaggie

Burwaggie was one of Asa's first words according to my mom and stepdad, Frank. Burwaggie was Asa's word for coffee when he was about 5 months old. I was there and I do remember him looking up at Frank sipping coffee and saying "burwaggie". I didn't expect that it would become a legitimate word in our family vocabulary but somehow, it has. It's not as if we walk around offering guests a hot cup of fresh brewed burwaggie, in fact we don't even have burwaggie everyday ourselves.  But if I were to ask Jeff if there was any burwaggie left, he'd certainly know what I was looking for.

Asa has since developed a new word for coffee: it's 'coffee'. It sounds exactly like our word for coffee and he uses it just as appropriately as he did 'burwaggie'. It's cute to see a toddler talk about coffee. It's a little freaky to see him point to a beer bottle and say 'beer' (we really aren't big drinkers, the kid just remembers everything you tell him I swear). He's usually asleep by the time we break out the vodka for bloody mary's so he hasn't learned any hard alcohols yet, nor does he seem to recognize a wine bottle for what it is. This may be because he often hears me tell him "Don't whine" so maybe he thinks they are the same word and something he should just avoid all together.

I really don't know how his mind works but listening to him talk himself to sleep at bedtime is really a cute way to pass the time. He seems to replay the latest events of his life, talking to his Bunny about lunch (pickle, burger, broccoli) or playtime (color, drawing, truck, police car, race car, digger) or even just who he hung out with or would like to see again soon (daddy, g'ma, pops, midnight). His nightly chat with Bunny & Bear is an interesting window into his mind. Last night I listened to him on the monitor as he said (amongst several other things), I love mommy. I love daddy. His last words before falling asleep were "Dokie-dokie" (this is his version of okie-dokie).

Having a 19 month old is fun, challenging and less exhausting then having a newborn, but I'll tell you what, a well-timed cup of burwaggie never goes amiss in our lives.

so cute

Asa is about the sweetest, cutest thing I could ever have imagined. The only thing that might be cuter than Asa would be other cute things with Asa. For example, Asa rolling around with a puppy might be even cuter than Asa rolling around on his own. Asa in a pile of leaves would probably up the cuteness level compared to say Asa in a pile of laundry, although that would be cute too ...

In fact its hard to imagine a scenario that involves Asa that wouldn't be cute even if it were otherwise sad or icky. For example, we had to take Asa to the ER for a chest xray, it was late, he was sick and tired and yet he was incredibly cute. Another example from a week or so ago, Asa was in the bath having a great time and then (as if he were reading my mind because I was just thinking how great it is that this had never happened) he pooped in the tub. It was hilarious, disgusting and yes, cute. I mean, you know you are in love with your baby when you think the fact that he has pooped the bath is cute and funny not vomitous and repulsive.

For any readers who don't have kids and think that I am insane for thinking this stuff is cute, all I can say is, two years ago I would have adamantly agreed with you and now, well now Asa owns me and all I can say is, if you have kids than you will see just what I'm saying first hand.

Medical Info Women Should Know

Okay, maybe I'm bored but I actually found this mildly amusing so I'm going way out of bounds and just copy/pasting my blog post today.

Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women

PREGNANCY Q & A & more

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?

A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A: So what's your question?

Q?: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor,

but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.?

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q?: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?

A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You 're using your cell phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving".

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."

9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.

7. Fat clothes.

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.

5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.

4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.

3. Eyelash curlers.

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

head over heels

Asa finally took his first big spill off the couch today. I say "finally" because its a moment I've seen coming for months and have been obviously concerned about. As it turns out, it was hilarious! Well, hilarious to me, more sort of frightening to Asa I would guess.

Here is how events transpired: Asa is running around on the couch (yes, I know this is bad manners and not safe) while I stand nearby and tell him to "sit down please", which he does. After a few moments he is back up and I tell him to be careful and he makes a move to sit down only he's too close to the edge so he starts to fall over. Somehow it happens incredibly slowly. One hand, two hands firmly on the ground, top of his head planted between his hands, momentary head stand before the feet and legs come flipping over his head and BAM! Asa completes his first somersault and couch fall in one amazing move.

He sat up looking bewildered and I smile at him realizing he's not hurt in the least, and start laughing. He looks a little unsure, then a little proud of himself, then he's back to looking a little unsure. I squat down and he comes running over for a reassuring hug. It was very sweet, very funny, and luckily no one was harmed in the making of this memorable moment. And perhaps little man will think twice before he goes running around on the sofa again.